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Sheet flow sunrise(Photo: Amy Bennett Williams/The News-Press)

Chronic bright-sider that I am, I was delighted to accept the challenge: You have a blue roof tarpaulin, a 16-foot piece of cattle fence and a handful of zip ties. As Tropical Storm Sally pelts you, construct an ersatz livestock rain shelter. You must incorporate the big live oak on the last piece of high ground in the pasture, remembering that if the tarp isnt set up properly, itll just collect rain and collapse under its own weight. You have 10 minutes. Go!

Sheet flow surprise: Fish in the pasture(Photo: Amy Bennett Williams/The News-Press)

Im pleased to report that I made it with a few seconds to spare. No, I hadnt accounted for the angry squads of tree ants who resented the disturbance and took it out on my dcolletage, but at least the critters would have a place to stay dry, now that the floodwaters have swallowed their pole barn.

The horses don't really mind rain, but the goats can't stand it, glaring sullenly and shaking like dogs if they're caught in it.

Sheet flow in back means goats up front, which Barren doesn't mind in the least.(Photo: Amy Bennett Williams/The News-Press)

Remember this?:In which a one-eared, gender-fluid goat joins our family

I pulled on my boots and sloshed out to check. Yep, water streaming in from the wildlands to the south, covering the west part of the pasture.

This is why developers carve pavement channels leading to pre-dug retention ponds to keep water where they want it, to tame the unruly flow that would cover the built landscape. It's so much easier if water stays in its place and away from ours. But as I stood, knee-deep and soaked, I had to smile. The reedy voices of the tiny tree frogs were already filling the air from oak limbs bristling with resurrection ferns.

Ah, sheet flow. Out here in our Alva woods, it happens every year or so. When theres more rain than the ground can absorb, the water rises, collecting into a shallow, slow-moving lake that makes its way to Bedman Creek, the Caloosahatchee and ultimately the Gulf of Mexico. Its a fine and perfectly natural thing. All that standing water helps recharge the aquifer from which our shallow, hand-dug well draws our water, while providing a place for frogs and toads to court and breed. (Mosquitoes too, truth be told, but hey, thats what repellent is for.

Lake Williams, formerly known as our pasture(Photo: Amy Bennett Williams/The News-Press)

After all, it was we humans who decided to settle in the middle of this sometimes wet place, so when it transforms from scrub to pond, adjustments must be made. For the most part, its merely a sloppy inconvenience, but in deep-water years, it can get pretty dramatic, so we keep a collection of knee-high Wellington boots in the shed. Until things dry back out and we put them away again, I can count on mud-smeared floors, soggy carpets and daily dog baths.

Seven years ago, when Scout (black and white) was still alive and I was still taller than Nash.(Photo: Amy Bennett Williams/The News-Press)

But sheetflow brings wonders too.

It makes pups out of our old dogs, who galumph through it, forgetting their sore hips, while it turns our young web-footed Catahoula mix dog Dell into a bayou maniac. Nighttime frog chorus rising over the oaks is the loveliestlullaby, and the shimmering sunrises that follow are a gift. One summer, the receding floodbeached an amphiuma an eel-like amphibian - in our driveway. Last year, it delivered a walking catfish.

The kids have grown up knowing the landscape can change overnight, so theyd better be ready to adapt.

And that sometimes, its OK to step into deep water and just give thanks.

Sheet flow sunset(Photo: Amy Bennett Williams/The News-Press)

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In praise of sheet flow: Yes, it can be a pain, but I wouldn't trade it for pavement and retention ponds - News-Press

TANNER MONDOK | HeraldConstruction workers continue to make progress on the Hermitage roundabout project Wednesday near the Shenango Valley Mall. Half of the circle will open to one lane of eastbound traffic today.

HERMITAGE Drivers will find themselves using part of Hermitages new roundabout this afternoon at East State Street and the Shenango Valley Freeway, while crews continue shooting for their October completion deadline.

Today marks the beginning of the roundabout projects third phase. Its southern portion will open to eastbound traffic traveling in the direction of Sharon toward Mercer. However, westbound traffic will continue using a temporary road on the edge of the Shenango Valley Mall north of the roundabout, PennDOT Project Manager Reggie Jannetti said.

Phase three is expected to take about two weeks, after which phase four, which calls for opening the roundabouts northern portion to westbound traffic traveling from Mercer toward Hermitage. Phase four is expected to take until the end of October, Jannetti said.

Well have to reconstruct the mall driveway, and we have a little portion of the roundabout that wed have to finish on the northern side, Jannetti said.

Phase five of the project is expected to begin in late October or the first week of November, when crews will do some minor work such as highway lighting, landscaping and pavement markings. The current detours will remain in place until then, Jannetti said.

The center of the roundabout will also have plantings and a wall reading, Hermitage, Pennsylvania, with some lighting to illuminate the sign.

Itll be a nice gateway into the city of Hermitage, he said.

Work on the roundabout was originally expected to be completed by Sept. 21, but the COVID-19 pandemic pushed that deadline back to Oct. 31.

Aside from the temporary halt on construction projects, crews had to endure extra safety measures at the work site, including daily meetings, wearing masks and health screening questions. Though the new measures didnt necessarily affect the project, Jannetti said Gov. Tom Wolfs office relaxed some measures.

Workers were allowed to take their masks off when they were at least 15 feet apart, although the masks still had to be under their chins or in their pockets. Workers were also allowed to work without their masks on if they were paving asphalt, Jannetti said.

When youre paving, that asphalt comes out at 300 degrees, Jannetti said.

Workers were also allowed to work without their masks for days with certain temperatures and humidities, when wearing a mask could present a health concern for workers. This was particularly helpful during the hotter days earlier this summer, Jannetti said.

Out here in those 90-degree days, it wasnt pleasant, he said.

Instead of working the usual eight or 10 hours, Jannetti said the contractors have been putting in 10- to 12-hour days for the last several weeks to meet the deadline. While conditions could still affect progress, the roundabout is expected to be completed by late October or the first week of November if the weather remains dry.

The past three weeks have been busy in terms of traffic congestion due to multiple operations, such as paving and pouring concrete, going on simultaneously. Jannetti said local businesses are through the worst of it, with access maintained to nearby businesses such as Dunkin Donuts, Cornmans Sweeperland and Smokey Martins restaurant.

The morning rush hours have been busy, and its probably been a little bit of an inconvenience to some of the patrons, but the businesses have worked very well with us, he said.

Like David L. Dye on Facebook or email him at ddye@sharonherald.com.

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Part of new Hermitage roundabout to open | Local News - Sharonherald

A number of changes have taken place in the northern portion of the city, all for the better as far as Im concerned.

First and foremost is the paving work that the city completed on Crafts Street between North Street and Waltham Street. This fresh, smooth pavement that has, so far, been untouched by anyone trying to fix a natural gas leak, is now lined with some bike lanes and parking chicanes. This is great news for the commuters who regularly use this road as an access point to reach their jobs in Boston and Cambridge, as well as anyone else who likes to use their bike. Whats interesting is that the bike lanes create a barrier between the vehicular roadway and the curbside parking, which is mostly unused. The result is that Ive seen joggers use that stretch of tarmac to give sidewalk pedestrians plenty of social distance. The bike lanes now go from the Waltham Line right up to the park.

A second major change is that Park and Pedal now has electric bikes adjacent to its parking spots at Albemarle. I know that whenever I go by those spots during the day I see at least two cars parked there with bike racks, so I assume theyre being used for the right purpose. I dont know what kind of program this is, nor do I know what deal they have worked out with the city, as my questions about this have gone entirely unanswered, both by the city and by the Park and Pedal people.

Finally, just today the city blocked off the small piece of Albemarle road between Crafts Street and North Street. This is something thats been discussed for a long time, so its great to see it finally happen. Its an example of a piece of road that is entirely unnecessary for traffic flow and has no driveways accessing it. Its mostly used by people coming from Watertown Street and looking to take a left on North Street. It saves a few seconds at most, as those drivers can easily turn right and take the left on North from there in a way that avoids most pedestrian entanglements.

So kudos to everyone involved in traffic, public safety, and public works who got this done! Im hoping that Crafts Street, between North and Washington, is going to get done soon.

Go here to read the rest:
Big transportation changes near the Waltham line - village14.com

The Parking Lot

opens Friday, Sept. 18 at 7:30 p.m. -- CSPS Hall parking lot; $40 per vehicle

Picture this: Several strangers gathered around in their cars, watching a married couple go through the pros and cons of a relationship on the verge of divorce. No, this isnt your weekly trip to Walmart or your neighbors driveway its the Mirrorbox Theatre production of The Parking Lot.

A socially distanced, pandemic-proof theatrical drive-in experience, The Parking Lot is directed by Cavan Hallman from the new play by Adam Szymkowicz, and stars Marcia and Scot Hughes. This show is infinitely more than a public therapy session. Its a humorous, heartfelt and thought-provoking narrative for all of us in lifes parking lot.

The characters Terry (Scot) and J (Marcia) do a wonderful job at engaging with the audience and inviting us to join them on a journey through their past and their problems. Are most of their pivotal moments (which happen to have taken place in a parking lot) now just a wasteland of nothingness? Or is their future together a blank canvas full of hope and possibility?

With popular music scored lightly in the background of the radio dialogue (sound design Bri Atwood), each of the 20 scenes are set up to pull on the emotions and internal dilemmas within each and every one of us. You dont have to be married to connect with the social messages of this piece, nor do you even have to be in a relationship you simply have to listen and reflect.

As tallies are written in chalk on the pavement, the couple reenact memories and what-ifs to help them decide whether or not theyre in love and, really, if love is enough. But between some teary eulogies, powerful feminist monologues and funny observations, The Parking Lot reaches for a higher level of wonderment. Scot and Marcia Hughes impart questions that, if we care enough, we have already asked ourselves: What can I do to better the world? Am I happy? And most importantly, do I know that I am worthy of love?

But dont mistake this for a dramatic, cheesy substitute for your Nicholas Sparks binge. Terry and J have fun with a scooter obstacle course, an exceptionally fancy couch (for a parking lot) and the ability to make me forget that Ive been smiling for the last five minutes. In a time when gathering to appreciate the arts seems like a distant memory and even Netflix doesnt sound appealing anymore, The Parking Lot is the opportunity weve been missing. Its an outlet to remember that the arts are changing forever, maybe but they will never cease to do what they have always done: form us into deeper, better versions of ourselves.

After an enjoyably fast-paced duration of slightly over an hour, the couple come to a rather simple decision that may leave the audience with mixed reviews. However, it stays true with the overall theme of the production: Life is messy, people are complicated but there has to be some shred of shared humanity. The perception of the ending lies individually in our own desires, outlook and thresholds. Terry and J are simply a stand-in for the billions of others who ever had to face the decision of whether to stay parked or to change gears.

The Parking Lot runs Sept. 18-26 in Cedar Rapids at the CSPS Hall parking lot. Tickets are $40 per vehicle, and the crew will inform you of which radio station to tune into once youre all settled in for the show. Be sure to turn off your lights, crack a window and enjoy the view over your steering wheel.

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Mirrorbox invites drive-ins for humorous, heartfelt, thought-provoking production 'The Parking Lot' - Little Village

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Road work on South Military Road near Seymour Street should be completed by mid-October, opening the busy street back up to motorists.(Photo: Doug Raflik/USA TODAY NETWORK-Wisconsin)

FOND DU LAC - City drivers will be happy to know there is an end in sight.

Since the latter part ofApril, motorists have been maneuvering around a road construction project on South Military Road that runs from just southwest of Seymour Street to Oak Park Avenue the dead end streetbeforethebypass atPioneer Road.

Contractors are scheduled to complete the work the week ofOct. 12, although the exact date is uncertain due to possible weather delays, said City Engineer Paul De Vries.

The roadway was due for replacement because of aging infrastructure, with some of the concrete pavement dating back to the 1940s, De Vries said.

The project includes new sanitary and storm sewers, water mains,sidewalks and driveways and landscaping along about 2,000 feet of Military Road. It's afairlytypical reconstruction project, he said,in line with what'sbeen occurring throughout the cityas the city's publicworks department tackles road repair needs.

"Maintaining access to residents and businesses was challenging during this project but the contractor did a good job at working with the owners," De Vries said.

Seymour Street, where it meets Military Road, came in at an angle, causing visibility problems for drivers. The project improved the street so it is now a typical T-intersection.

The project was locally funded at a cost of around $2,375,000.

De Vries said he thanks residents and businesses along that stretch for their patience.

More work along Military Road is slated for 2022, and includesproposed improvements that extend from Superior Street to Western Avenue.The project will replace deteriorated pavement and add new curb and gutter, sidewalks, storm sewer, sanitary sewer, water mainand street lighting.

Contact Sharon Roznik at 920-907-7936 or sroznik@gannett.com. Follow her on Facebook atfacebook.com/reporterroz/

RELATED: Demolition continues at Forest Mall in Fond du Lac

RELATED:Fond du Lac road work update: North Main Street to reopen by end of week; County V work continues

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When will Fond du Lac's Military Road finally be open again? Soon, the city says - Fond du Lac Reporter

CEDAR RAPIDS A disruptive pandemic and destructive derecho havent put a stop to the work on five projects building toward Cedar Rapids $750 million flood control system.

Work on a new facility providing restrooms and event storage at the McGrath Amphitheatre, a giant rolling gate across 16th Avenue SE and a stackable gate downtown, a stretch of levee in NewBo and a flood wall guarding Quaker Oats will carry construction crews into the beginning of 2021.

The citys budget calls for spending $45.6 million on flood protection in fiscal 2021, which ends June 30 a boost of $7.7 million over fiscal 2020. That investment adds to the $93 million the city has spent on flood control since 2014.

As of March 31, the Army Corps of Engineers has spent $15 million of its total cost share portion of $76.4 million after federal aid finally was approved in 2018 a decade after a historic flood inundated some 10 square miles of the city.

The federal money applies only to approved sections of the $250 million east side system, not the west side of the river.

Here are the five projects underway for the remainder of this year:

Work is set to begin Monday on a floodgate downtown that is designed to protect to the 2008 flood volume.

Once complete in summer 2021, the floodgate will feature stackable, removable panels that slide into permanent columns on the sidewalk when there is risk of flooding.

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Construction will include installing the foundation and vertical columns that will hold the removable panels, which will be stored off-site. Much of the structure will be underground, not visible from the street.

Rob Davis, the city flood control manager, said the gates will need to be assembled on-site and will take six to eight hours to prepare in a flood event. To avoid working right up against the rising waters, he said crews would allow a full day to assemble the gate.

Staff are working on writing into the systems operations manual how varying projected river elevation levels would trigger crews to assemble different types of closures.

With buildings on both sides of the avenue, he said there isnt a sensible place for a swinging or rolling gate, and pulling a gate out of the pavement wouldnt work because of the bridge locations leading into town.

Second Avenue SE also will receive this type of gate, Davis said.

While construction is underway, Third Avenue SE from First Street SE to the Cedar River will be closed to vehicular, cyclist and pedestrian traffic. People may access the CRST/Bankers Trust driveway on Third Avenue SE via First Street SE.

Parking on the Third Avenue Bridge will remain open from the west.

While the other projects planned for 2020 are all locally bid, this project is bid and administered by the Corps, allowing the city to redirect dollars to other portions of the 20-year flood control project, which will span 7 miles.

The Corps began work in April on a 4-foot thick, 14-foot tall, 67-foot long floodgate to protect the New Bohemia business district near downtown.

The floodgate will hide behind a flood wall and roll into place across the eastern approach to the 16th Avenue Bridge when the Cedar Rivers waters rise, locking into place between two permanent posts.

That gate can close in less than an hour and will be stored on-site.

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The gate is slated to be complete by November, Davis said. City officials are planning a similar gate on the west side of the bridge.

This levee will stretch through parking lot 44 on the east side of the Cedar River between Ninth Avenue SE to 12th Avenue SE, helping close gaps to protect that segment of town from rising waters.

Parking will be restricted during construction, which is expected to be done by spring 2021.

Davis said this levee, already built to full height, helps the city get a lot more bang for our buck by limiting the temporary flood protection measures the city needs to put in place.

Every piece of flood control that we can get in, thats fewer HESCO barriers like we had to do in 2016, Davis said, referring to the sand-filled barriers that were erected around town in just days to help stave off a near-record river crest. We can deploy our resources to fighting floods elsewhere.

The McGrath Amphitheatre flood wall will be ready by spring 2021 with a much-enhanced experience for patrons.

A multifunctional portion of flood wall will be ready for the summer amphitheater season, containing storage space on the first level and restrooms on the second.

This will eliminate the need for portable toilets and storage trailers outside the amphitheater, Davis said.

Were presuming that things will be back to normal and that the amphitheater will be used next year, Davis said. From the standpoint of construction, with fewer shows and cancellations, its actually helped that project stay on schedule. We havent had to work around as many shows this year.

Work to build 2,000 feet of the flood wall and pump station at Quaker Oats is slated to be finished in May 2021.

When that is done, Davis said the contractor will start on the final phase of work completing the railroad closure gate at the Cedar River in fall 2021.

That will complete work on Quaker Oats property, the first major permanent flood protection for downtown.

Comments: (319) 398-8494; marissa.payne@thegazette.com

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Construction starts Monday on projects for Cedar Rapids flood control system - The Gazette

Firefighters were making progress against several significant wildfires on Thursday, the authorities in Oregon and California said, and residents of the Bay Area were able to enjoy smoke-free skies for the first time in weeks.

A storm arriving Thursday night will help to improve air quality in western Oregon and bring moisture exactly where I would ask for it, Doug Grafe, chief of fire protection for the Oregon Department of Forestry, said in a news briefing.

But the storm may also bring additional challenges, including winds that could accelerate the growth of existing fires, and lightning that could ignite new ones. The rain could cause landslides, and flash flooding was a worry in the scorched foothills of the Cascades.

Temperatures should remain low with more humidity after the storm, Mr. Grafe said, aiding the significant progress crews have already made. Oregons 10 remaining large blazes, including the Beachie Creek Fire, which has burned nearly 200,000 acres east of Salem and forced tens of thousands to evacuate, are mostly between 10 to 20 percent contained.

Firefighters had managed to slow, stall or diminish some of the major fires in California, Daniel Berlant, a spokesman for the state fire agency, Cal Fire, said. The August Complex, which has burned almost 800,000 acres north of Sacramento, was 30 percent contained, and the North Complex Fire, stretching 228,000 acres, was 36 percent contained.

Emergency teams continued to search for victims and survivors of the fires, which have killed more than 30 people, destroyed thousands of structures and burned across more than five million acres in three states.

More than 3,000 Oregonians are still being sheltered outside their homes. When Gov. Kate Brown of Oregon visited some of the communities devastated by the Beachie Creek Fire, she said the devastation it wrought was all-encompassing and shocking.

More:
Wildfires Live Updates: Dry Lightning Could Threaten Western Oregon - The New York Times

Many things in life are relative. Obviously, space and time, Einstein proved that decades ago, also the talent of your local NFL team (if the Detroit Lions were playing an elementary school, theyd be greatunfortunately they play in the NFL). It's the same with vehicle prices. To some, a Cadillac is expensive. To others, its not, but a Ferrari is. And it's true for vehicle types, too. McLaren sees the GT as a grand tourer. But compared to vehicles we'd classify that way, like the Bentley Continental and Mercedes-Benz SL, the McLaren GT is nothing short of a supercar.

For starters, look at it. The top of the roof is only 48 inches from the ground. Itll slip under a limbo stick without coming off its raised ride-height setting for getting into driveways. The rear looks like a spaceship. None of the styling implies grand touring, really. Okay, maybe the front end, a little, as it looks less aggressiveless like a cheese shredderthan the Senna and 720S.

The thing is, I never thought the 720S was too stiff. I never winced over pavement heaves or bumps when driving it around Detroit. But for those that would find it too stiff, here we are: a GT for the supercar class.

McLaren

This McLaren GT launched late last year with the companys 4.0-liter twin-turbo V8, here making 612 hp and 456 lb-ft of torque. A seven-speed dual-clutch transmission sends power to the rear wheels at a quick enough rate to get to 60 mph in 3.1 seconds, 124 mph in 9 seconds and to a top speed of 203 mph.

The GT is longer than the 570, 620 and 720 McLarens, with longer front and rear overhangs. It has a 10-degree front approach angle, which goes up to 13 degrees with the lift engaged, and a ground clearance of 4.3 inches, 5.1 with the vehicle lift. Thats only a tenth or two of an inch more than the 720S.

Aluminum double wishbones sit at all four corners with McLarens Proactive Damping Control and Proactive Chassis Control. Like previous models, the GT has two knobs in the center, one for handling and one for powertrain. The powertrain makes the fuel map more aggressive and the handing dial speeds up steering and stiffen's the suspension.

McLaren

Ive been lucky enough to drive several McLarens. I think the 720S is one of, if not thee, best car on the planet. But if Im shopping for a McLaren in the $200K range, Id pick this over the 570s and maybe the 600LT as well. As those other McLarens look a little too wild. This is a smoother, cooler take on those beasts.

Get in and you do get more of a grand touring feel. Theres leather everywhere, instead of naked carbon fiber and brushed aluminum. The seats are a little wider and softer, too. Personally, I found them less supportive than, say that 720S. But I can see preferring them to the sometimes-claustrophobic carbon-shelled racing seats.

McLaren

The central screen gets easier to use every time you mess with it. It has shortcut buttons for climate, radio, nav and the like. Below that is the main control panel for the powertrain and transmission. One thing the McLaren GT doesnt have is the transforming gauge cluster that folds down when in track mode. That was a cool party trick of the 720S and I missed it here.

The biggest get is that the trunk can now hold a set of golf clubs. Instead of seeing the engine through the rear window, all you can see is the fabric board cover, with a big divot in the middle to place the clubs. My set is small and fit easily, but some of you with bigger golf bags might need to squish them a little.

Sorry, scratch that last one, the biggest, biggest get is the sunroof that has five levels of shade, adjusted through buttons on the ceiling. It goes from completely clear, though with UV protection, to a deep, deep tint that allows you to stare directly into the sun (not recommended). That feature is not just a party trick, but very useful in late, hot Detroit summers.

McLaren

On the road, the McLaren GT feels one notch softer than the 720S. The chassis is still super tight. I paid close attention to any road imperfections so as not to bang up the wheels. But like the 720S, its not tooth-rattling harsh. Same with the steering, its probably one notch easier and lazier than the 720S (were going from 100 to 99 here) but theres still a ton of delicious feel from the leather-wrapped wheel with the hydraulic power steering setup. The first bump that made its way to my palms was like a revelation. Road feel, glorious road feel!

Again, its all relative. This McLaren is a GT, but a swallow-your-tongue fast GT. Quick starts are met with a feeding of power until youre ready to slap the steering-wheel-mounted paddle for second gear. At that point, you dont see the traction control light switch on, you just hold on for dear life, snatching paddles all the way.

For instance, I was stopped at a red light on a four-lane surface street with another red light a quarter mile away. I was in the left lane but saw that the right lane was open at the light 1,000 feet up. I thought, hmm, can I make it over there in front of traffic? Stupid, I know. I made it to the second red light before that traffic even moved. Not everyone knows this, but most traffic problems can be solved with speed (again, not recommended). Your best bet is to keep the ESC in dynamic mode, which will allow for super hard launches without reining in the power--but will also save you in case of an emergency

For your feet, the pedalbox is small, and the pedals are too close to each other. But, as Ive said before, it makes less of a difference without a third pedal. Although, a few times I went quickly to the brakes and my foot caught the edge of the gas. Luckily, the brake pedal barely moves, which is how I like it. With such a firm pedal, you can stab them hard without ABS kicking in, and then a split second later reassess how much pressure you really need. They might be a tad softer than McLarens other models, but still a shorter stroke than most cars on the road.

Like all McLarens, everyone on the road with the V8 or twin-turbo V6 wants a piece of the action. Hellcat Widebodys fly by. Corvettes slow, speed up, then slow again. People stop you at gas stations to talk. Whether its a Senna or a GT, its going to happen. Prepare yourself. If, like me, you enjoy talking to strangers, youll be the belle of the ball.

The McLaren GT doesnt feel like a grand touring car, it doesnt look like a grand touring car and it doesnt sound like a grand touring carunless you put it next to a P1 or 720S or Senna. Its all relative.

McLaren GT Specs

On Sale: Now

Base Price: $213,195

Powertrain: 4.0-liter twin-turbo V8, seven-speed dual-clutch transmission, RWD

Output: 612 hp at 7500 rpm, 465 lb-ft from 5500 to 6500 rpm

Wheelbase: 105.3 inches

Length/Width/Height: 184.4/80.5/47.8 inches

Curb Weight: 3,464 lbs

Fuel Economy: 15/22/18 city/hwy/combined

Pros: A grand touring car in name only.

Cons: The seat adjustment buttons. Owners will be sad not to see the engine every day through the back glass.

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The McLaren GT Is Only a GT When Compared to Other McLarens - Autoweek

Heres another Lifestyle blog post from the people who brought you the Taco Bell on Walnut Hall of Fame. Man, it feels pretty good to be the first blog ever to cover sports, pop culture, music and tech, all in one place.

Currently, the Big Ten is deliberating on whether or not to vote on whether it should vote about holding a meeting, where its presidents and chancellors might vote on whether or not to watch a presentation from the Big Ten Return to Competition Task Force, which will then prompt a vote on whether or not the Big Ten will hold a Zoom call on a random Sunday afternoon, where there will be a discussion about whether or not to vote on a fall football season, which will then decide THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

No worries if you stopped reading the last paragraph somewhere in the second line, because thats about where I gave up on writing it.

The point being, theres nothing going on in IU Athletics, at least in the ways were used to.

Maybe soon well get back to a place where the IU mens soccer team hasnt allowed a goal in seven games, a grassroots Michael Penix Heisman campaign is building in the darkest crevices of Twitter, and IUs top-25 college basketball team, coached by Teri Moren, is preparing for a 25-win season and an NCAA tournament appearance.

But today isnt that day.

So were going to talk about parking tickets instead.

Thanks to the power of the law, CQ has obtained IUs parking ticket data from the last four years (from the 2017-18 fiscal year to present), and were going to rank all 44 categories of them.

Quote from man towed: What are you gonna do, tow me?

3. Citation Circumvented (186 total): This sounds like a failed James Bond reboot. 007: Citation Circumvented. Id watch a six-part docu-series about the people who got these citations, because the fact that theyre listed on the spreadsheet means they did, in fact, still get a citation in addition to their original citation.

4. Overnight Garage Parking (1,035 total): This is just classic 20-year-old galaxy brain thinking right here. Im in Bloomington for the night and I need a safe place for my car, surely the university wont check one of [checks notes] the two main parking garages near campus to see if anyone is parking there overnight.

This is like the summer when one of my roommates and I refused to actually invest in a downtown parking spot or buy a bus pass, so every morning wed drive to work, park in the casino parking garage next door to our office, fully dressed for work slacks, collared shirts that were tucked in, work bags, etc. then walk through the casino at like 8 a.m., passing the people who were still up from the night before or who just needed a little jolt to start their work day. Wed walk past the casino greeters and security, who clearly knew we hadnt walked in through the front doors of the casino, then wed go to work. At the end of the work day, wed do the opposite, walking back through the casino, taking the elevator up to the parking garage and going home.

Eventually, sensing the heat from casino security, I bought a bus pass. A few weeks later, my roommates car got towed from the casino.

You know better and yet you still do it. This is the Overnight Garage Parking experience.

This is the experience of being 20 years old.

5. Altered/Counterfeit Permit (80 total): For better (for the IUPD) and for worse (for our entertainment), these citations are decreasing at an alarming rate. Just look at these advanced analytics:

2017-18: 38 citations

2018-19: 24 citations

2019-20: 18 citations

2020-21: 0 citations

Im pretty sure during my fifth year at IU, a parking pass was like $10 for a calendar year. Even on a college students budget, the cost was negligible. If anything, it was more annoying to have to go to city hall and fill out the form, especially when we had two extra ghost tenants in a five-person house and we had to provide proof of residence for everyone in the house.

But despite the Chipotle burritos worth of cost for a Bloomington parking permit, you have to respect the dedication of those who try to forge a parking pass, complete with the one-sided adhesive and shiny lettering.

By the way, theres still one unpaid citation for an altered/counterfeit from the 2018 school year, which you know is being used as a pickup line at last call in a Broad Ripple bar.

Yeah, thats really sad about your roommates dog. Anyway, did I tell you about the time I used a fake parking pass in college and never got busted? Yeah, it was no biggie. Bartender, two more rum and cokes. What do you say we get out of here?

6. Fraudulent Permit Displayed (108 total): Hold on, there are fraudulent permits, which are somehow different than altered/counterfeit permits?

7. Expired/No License Plate (47 total): NO license plate, you say?

8. Car Pool Violation (1 total): As of Sept. 14, 2020, there have been 64,448 parking citations issued since the start of the 2017-18 fiscal year and only one renegade/dumbass/hero has been cited for a car pool violation.

How does it feel, sir or maam?

There was one tailgate where we fit, I think, 14 people in a car ride to the tailgate fields and no one batted an eye. My question now is just how many people does it take in one car to get a car pool violation?

The over/under is 18.5.

9. Parked Opposite of Traffic (33 total)

10. Bicycle (118 total): The open-endedness of this category is intriguing.

11. In or Near Bike Rack (14 total): Just how might one park a car in a bike rack?

12. Parked in Wrong Area/Zone (14,367 total)

13. Game Day-No Parking (1,202 total)

14. No Valid Permit Displayed (22,032 total)

15. Unauthorized Entry (1,241 total)

16. Meter Expired (7,524 total): To everyone whos come 25 cents short or 15 minutes too late on their parking meter, just know that your citation has been avenged, whether you know it or not. One of my friends in college, [redacted], once accidentally backed into a parking meter, knocking it to its side and partially uprooting the base of it. This friend, one of those people who lifted biceps/back four times per week at the SRSC, then pulled out the parking meter by hand, took it home and broke it open to get the change out of it. He then took the tracking device, drove to Lake Monroe and threw it to the depths of Davy Joness locker.

He did this for you.

Youre welcome.

17. Parked in Construction Area (11 total)

18. Tow Warning (396 total)

19. Tow Fee Refused (154 total): GTA VI: Bloomington Impound Lot

20. Non Payment of Garage Fee (78 total): This is kind of like refusing to pay for the tow service. Without shifting space or time, how, exactly, do you get your car out of a garage without paying or taking off the mechanical arm at the garage?

21. Parked on Crosswalk/Sidewalk (970 total)

22. Parked on Hash Marks (39 total)

23. Parked in Restricted/Reserved (2,920 total)

24. Parked in Numbered/Reserved (1,026 total)

25. Parked in Drive/Blocking (1,617 total): Surely, this classification is shorthand for cars that were parked in a driveway and were otherwise preventing someone from getting in or out of a driveway.

extremely Stephen A. Smith voice: HOWEVER.

Theres a 1% chance it could referring to someone parking their car but actually leaving it in Drive, which is way more exciting.

26. Parked on Yellow Curb (1,118 total)

27. Permit Balance Due (336 total): Slap it on your student bursar and make your parents pay for it, right?

28. Parked On/Over Stall Marker (590 total)

29. Vehicle Relocated (11 total): The word relocated feels like its doing a lot of work here, right? It sounds like the vehicle wasnt stolen but it wasnt moved with the owners consent, either. It was just relocated.

30. Motorist assist (12 total)

31. Parked in 24hr Zone (220 total)

32. Parked in Loading/Unloading Zone (99 total)

33. Parked in Delivery Zone (27 total)

34. Unreturned Permit (70 total)

35. Event Parking (1 total): Once again, who are these people who are the only ones, out of more than 64,000 citations, who find a way to get cited for something that no one else has?

36. Parked in Fire Lane/15 feet (509 total)

37. Cite Paid at Garage (124 total)

38. Parked in Visitor Only Space (45 total)

39. Parked Beyond Time Limit (647 total)

40. Speeding/Unsafe Driving (5 total)

41. Expired Permit Displayed (1,163 total)

42. Improper Display of Permit (500 total): Note the wording, here. Its not that you dont have a permit. Its not that your permit is expired. Its that the display of your permit was improper. CQ is firmly against improper display of permit citations.

43. Other (See Comments) (1,801 total): If theres anything Im not going to do, its reading almost 2,000 comments about why some college kid got a parking citation. No thanks.

44. Parked in Disabled Sp/Aisle (652 total): Dont be an asshole.

The rest is here:
Types of Indiana University parking tickets, RANKED - The Crimson Quarry

Feng shui isnt just a buzzword for interior designers and real estate agents: Its an ancient Chinese philosophy that helps people find balance in the way they live their lives by harmonizing their living spaces with nature through spatial design. The key is qi (pronounced chee), or the energy that connects all living things. Through the implementation of specific design principles that promote auspiciousness, feng shui is said to allow your energy to flow uninhibited through your home, improving your overall quality of life.

Over the last 30 years, the concept of feng shui has been developing a loyal following in the American interior design world, but the design philosophy has its roots in ancient China. The philosophy originated in astrology, with ancient cultures designing burial plots to align with celestial objects like stars. Over millennia, practitioners refined the philosophy, eventually expanding it into urban planning, then condensing it into the home itself. As for the name feng shui, feng means wind and shui means waterthe phrase is derived from an ancient poem about the connection of human life and the environment.

In order to allow qi to flow effortlessly through your home, feng shui has quite a number of principles to follow, from dictating the precise places to set your furniture (never put a bed under a window!) to stipulating what color to paint your front door (it depends on which cardinal direction it faces). While different feng shui schools offer many variations on these principles, here are several commonalities that form the basis of the philosophy.

Bagua, which translates to eight areas, is an energy map placed over the floor plan of your home. Its a three-by-three grid with eight boxes, each representing a different category of your lifeloosely translated into wealth, fame, love, family, children, knowledge, career, and helpful peoplewith the center box representing you. If any of these areas in your life need improvement, you should apply the appropriate feng shui principles in the corresponding space of your home.

Feng shui principles also focus on the five elements: earth, metal, water, wood, and fire. While each can be taken literally in terms of incorporation into the home (i.e., wood furniture for a fireplace), they also correspond to certain emotions, colors, shapes, and areas on the bagua map. Ultimately, you should use interior design to balance all five elements for the best qi flow, tweaking per your needs as they change throughout your life.

The philosophy of yin and yang permeates many ancient Chinese fields of study, from the martial arts to medicine to feng shui. Its a concept of duality, demonstrating that opposite forces are interconnected and work in tandem in order to create harmony: yin is a passive, soft energy, while yang is an aggressive, bold one. As it relates to interior design, youll want a balance of both types of energies, with yin energy in calm, relaxing spaces like your bedroom or bathroom and yang energy in your more social, productive spaces like your kitchen or home office.

Pieter Estersohn

Feng shui is a complex tradition, with numerous components that require quite a bit of study to interpret fully. While you can certainly take baby steps into the world of feng shui on your own, many people find it helpful to consult feng shui experts to really revamp their space.

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Feng Shui: What Is It and How to Apply It at Home