Happy Feng Shui 2013

I was staring at a weird bamboo plant ($59.95) in a Cleveland plant shop. A sloe-eyed clerk glided over and breathed, Feng Shui.

Geshundheit, I thought.

Just another rube looking for philodendron on sale, Im sure she thought. Well, yeah.

Meanwhile, Im feeling like really comfortable. Plants have a special Feng Shui for me. She asked me where I work. I said, I write for a newspaper in Canton.

Oh, my, she said.

Her face indicated her Feng Shui energy meter was skyrocketing.

No, the other Canton, in Ohio, I said.

Meter falls back to below normal.

I almost bought the bamboo but detected bad karma from my credit card. I figured Id better get a handle on this Feng Shui stuff before I get into trouble.

Id just read where a company tore down a new $300 million skyscraper in Hong Kong after it failed the Feng Shui test. Lovers test their opposites Feng Shui before deciding on a relationship. All puppies have fantastic Feng Shui, so no worries there. So does the Bieber chap.

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Happy Feng Shui 2013