Family feng-shui

As things have been a bit quiet around here, weve decided to move house.

The timing is perfect because its only a few weeks until Christmas and, well, I dont seem to have anything better to do than fill endless amounts of boxes and clean tops of kitchen cupboards that havent been touched in five years. Right?

Ive been desperate to move house. This house is okay but it needs stuff doing to it and even if we sorted/tidied/decorated it would still drive me mad. Im over it, in the way you get over a relationship that has had its day. In fact my love affair with this house is not unlike that of my teenage boyfriend it was true love that faded slowly then suddenly.

There is another reason to my wanting to move I strongly feel that if we move house, it will improve our family karma. Our family feng-shui. Our house is full of clutter and crap that weve collected over the years and with three children comes a lot more clutter and crap. Its time to have a clear out and take half of our belongings to the tip.

Feng-shui is an ancient form of aesthetics. It is basically that if you put things in the right place then you will get positivity. Having dead flowers in a vase for two weeks is not good feng-shui. Neither is a burnt pan that you keep in the dishwasher with the hope that it will one day come clean. And the worse kind of feng-shui is buying fresh fruit only to watch it decay before throwing it out just to buy fresh fruit all over again in a never ending cycle.

When I have googled Family Feng-Shui the first article I clicked on was mainly an advertisement for New Kitchens From Tesco so already Im not convinced its entirely authentic but Im willing to give it a go in a new home.

However I am not very good at this feng-shui. Im wondering if that is whats causing some negative family energy, like stressful school run and having to say something 5000 times before a child listens. Im thinking if I should make the effort to install a flowing water feature in a bright, clutter free room or place incense sticks strategically in a south-east corner. Or just get a new kitchen from Tesco.

Apparently to bring harmony and therefore be able to get everyone out of the house in less than 15 hours, its worth doing a full feng-shui. Ive looked up our elements and the only way I have it covered is by:

Wood: Dog-chewed bit of branches

Fire: Box of matches for the odd sneaky fag

Excerpt from:
Family feng-shui