Kevin McKeever: Who wants to put their name on a moldy CT school? – Laredo Morning Times

This video frame grab shows John Oliver from his Last Week Tonight with John Oliver program on HBO, Sunday, Aug. 30, 2020. On Aug. 22, Danbury, Conn., Mayor Mark Boughton announced a tongue-in-cheek move posted on his Facebook page to rename Danburys local sewage treatment plant after Oliver following the comedian's expletive-filled rant about the city. Oliver then offered to donate $55,000 to charity if the city actually followed through with it. On Thursday, Oct. 8, the Danbury City Council voted 18-1 to rename the sewage plant after the comedian.

This video frame grab shows John Oliver from his Last Week...

With the Danbury wastewater plant being renamed after a comedian in exchange for his giving local charities $55,000 (with more on the way a community fundraiser launched this week to celebrate the newly christened John Oliver Memorial Sewer Plant has already netted another $50,000), it made me wonder if some needy causes elsewhere in the state could benefit from a bit of name-brand rebranding.

For example ...

Construction continues at Westover Elementary School in Stamford, Conn. Monday, Aug. 24, 2020. The magnet elementary school, which had been closed for the last two years for mold remediation, will reopen this year. The school had been housed inside an office building in the South End for the last two years.

Construction continues at Westover Elementary School in Stamford,...

The gazillionare hedge fund owner wanted to move his Bridgewater Associates headquarters to Stamford a few years ago in exchange for a literal boatyard of coastal destruction and state tax breaks. The locals put up too big of a fight, and he stayed in Westport. Through his educational philanthropic foundation, Dalio later wanted to pump $100 million into Connecticuts underperforming schools through a questionable partnership with the state mired in constant controversy. That was scuttled earlier this year. Dalio, however, says he still wants to make the donation.

Lets offer him Westover Magnet Elementary School in Stamford. The school was closed for two years to undergo $24 million in renovations to combat mold issues. Right before it reopened for this autumn, more moisture problems bubbled up. Dalios generosity would let him fulfill both his desires: a major tax write-off that helps Connecticut students and getting a deal on a nice piece of soggy Stamford property.

A view of a part of the Bridgeport Correctional Center located on North Avenue in Bridgeport, Conn., on Friday July 10, 2015. The BCC is a high-security facility which houses about 950 inmates. Due to a decline in the prison population, the Connecticut Department of Correction with be closing down the center's Fairmont Unit.

A view of a part of the Bridgeport Correctional Center located on...

The seven-term Bridgeport mayor spent a stretch of time between terms five and six in federal prison for public corruption related to a kickback scheme. Now his administration is again being scrutinized by the FBI. His police chief (a longtime Ganim friend and his former driver/bodyguard) and the citys personal director have been charged by the feds with rigging the search for the citys top law enforcement officer, possibly to appease the mayor.

Yeah the local hoosegow a little obvious of a choice but Ganim is too far tarnished at this point to hope to have his name put on a redemption center. Certainly some of the numbskulls who have continued to vote this ex-con into office can pony up the bucks for the naming rights and a good cause such as ethics training for Bridgeport officials.

The Cardinal Stadium home bleachers are closed during a lacrosse game at Greenwich High School in Greenwich, Conn. in April of 2019. The Board of Estimate and Taxations Budget Committee has authorized money to be spent on moving forward new bleachers for Greenwich High Schools Cardinal Stadium and design for a new municipal ice rink.

The Cardinal Stadium home bleachers are closed during a lacrosse...

The quarterback of six Super Bowl winning New England Patriots teams fired up locals for months when rumors swirled about him and model wife Gisele Bndchen buying a mansion in a certain tony southern Connecticut town. Alas, it didnt happen. Now it looks like the couple will instead buy a palace closer to his new job in Florida, running the offense of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

However, Brady still has strong ties along with some loyalty to his old club and boss, massage aficionado Robert Kraft, who would love to capture the hearts and dollars of the one corner of the New England region that still roots for the New York football clubs, no matter how lousy they are. With Greenwich High Schools football stadium in need of repairs and funding for them, it sounds like a match made in a NFL marketing executives red, white and blue dream.

The Heroes Tunnel, formerly the West Rock Tunnel, on the Wilbur Cross Parkway in New Haven.

The Heroes Tunnel, formerly the West Rock Tunnel, on the Wilbur...

The 1,200-foot Heroes Tunnel on the Wilbur Cross Parkway offers the perfect naming opportunity for any Connecticut commentator, be they conservative, liberal or just a boy pounding out 628 silly words every two weeks for the regional media monopoly, uh reputable raker of Nutmeg State muck. Why? Because when the summer breezes around this West Rock Ridge locale pick up, it offers the perfect summary of the profession in the eyes of its many naysayers: one end blows hot air while the other just sucks.

On second thought, whod ever pay for that?

Stamford native Kevin McKeever, whose nationally award-winning column appears here every other Friday, is a freelance writer. Tweet him at @homeanduncool or email him at kevin@writeonkevin.com.

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Kevin McKeever: Who wants to put their name on a moldy CT school? - Laredo Morning Times