Worst Thanksgiving Family Football Conversation Ever

The Worst Thanksgiving Family Football Conversation Ever

A play by Mike Tanier

Setting

Great Aunt Eunice's family room, Nov. 27, 2014.

As the rest of the family prepares side dishes, sets tables or gossips in other rooms, a handful of football junkies, couch potatoes and people no one else in the family likes gather around the television for 10-and-a-half hours of NFL action.

Cast of Characters

AUNT EUNICE: Remembers the Truman administration. Cooks Thanksgiving dinner using recipes she brought over from the Old Country (Piscataway Township). Gets all of her news, football and otherwise, from major-network daytime talk shows.

UNCLE CARMINE: Former deputy shop steward for Pipefitters Local 31415 (resigned in disgrace, 1997). Bought you your first bottle of vodka before the junior high homecoming dance. Divorced four times from three women. Chews with mouth open.

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Worst Thanksgiving Family Football Conversation Ever