Boulder designer makes dog hair more tolerable

Barbee James, founder of Jezi Jeans, wears her dog-walking jacket with her 4-year-old miniature Labradoodle, Jasper, sporting his own Jezi Jeans jacket. (Courtesy photo)

Find Jezi Jeans online at jezijeans.com and learn more at facebook.com/JeziJeans.

Jezi Jeans is running a contest right now: The first 100 people to like Jezi Jeans' Facebook page will be entered to win a free product of their choice.

Ten percent of profits will go toward Train Service Dogs for US Troops.

Tell me this: How does the dog hair manage to weave through the fibers of my black yoga pants in an elaborate twill-weave pattern that is impossible to unstitch, even with a seam ripper?

I never wanted to be one of Those Wives. The ones who come home from work and directly change out of a well put-together ensemble into ratty sweatpants. I know I look sloppy. I know I'm threatening the stability of my marriage. But I wear a lot of black. And my dogs have a lot of hair. And hair repulses me. This is not a winning combo.

If you open the curtains about 4 p.m., when the sun's shining through at just the perfect angle, my living room looks like a dog-hair snow globe. This stresses me out constantly. It's why I drink. We tried to shave the hairiest offender last summer, but the electric razor strangled itself with the cord after four hours of relentless labor. And the hair grew back thicker. Of course it did.

This is why we spend a lot of time outside, sharing my dogs' hair with the neighborhood bushes, parks and gutters, like a trail of bread crumbs to ensure I can always easily be stalked. Not that anyone would. My neighbors surely think I'm repulsive, as the only color I can wear while walking my monsters is gray, and the only gray I own is shaped like a pair of XXXL Wal-Mart sweats, the kind with the elastic ankles.

Just to enhance my sex appeal -- and to make sure I have enough poop bags, toys, balls, backup leashes, lint rollers, water, snacks and mini-bottles of cabernet to keep everyone happy until we absolutely must go indoors again -- I am forced to wear a backpack. And the only backpack I own is my 3-year-old daughter's, and it's shaped like Dora the Explorer.

I'm not saying I am the inspiration behind Jezi Jeans, but I'm not saying an intervention by them isn't necessary.

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Boulder designer makes dog hair more tolerable